I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
