Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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