What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
