that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
