anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think a kid would responsible me up
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize