She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
