I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
