Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
