my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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