i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
how drunk are you?
Several
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
