i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
