FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
