I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
