Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
one might say we're banned from that church
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
