So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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