first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
