My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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