On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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