dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
