I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
