He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
