He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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