it hurts more in the daytime
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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