Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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