i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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