My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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