Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
