I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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