oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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