Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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