have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
