Will you blow on my dice?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
