if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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