peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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