My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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