Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
