Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Holy sore nipples Batman
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
