Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
