JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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