guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ketchup is God's man juice
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
