some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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