You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
