My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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