"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
