Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
