i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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