she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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