o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
