He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
