reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
