I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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