All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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