I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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