She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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