I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
if you like me you must not know who I am
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my being single is dangerous.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
