3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
