Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
