He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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