I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
