She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
