4 words: hood of his car
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
