Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
